Score Level 1 Anchor Paper

In this minimal response, the student chooses a World History teacher's patience as a most admired quality. Although a few supporting details are given, these are a mixture of the specific (extremely calm and patient waiting for the kids in my class to be quiet and behave) and the vague (many bad things could happen). No organizational structure is demonstrated due to the brevity of the response.

Score Level 1 Anchor Paper

Because this student provides a random variety of traits (puts food on the table; go shopping and spend a lot of time; takes care of me; someone I can depend on) with minimal details, this response lacks both the support and the organization needed for a higher score.

Score Level 2 Anchor Paper

This student suggests a mother's honesty as the most admired quality. Some information (always replies with the truth; may not be what I want to hear; puts me in check when my head gets a little too big) is given to support this idea, but no specific details are supplied. An attempt at organization is evidenced by the tight focus on honesty.

Score Level 2 Anchor Paper

Although organized, this response contains both repetitious (how she is understanding; one how understands me; sister does not understand; she understanding) and general details (I do certain things; you need help with something; despite all the things that my sister had put her through). The result is an oversimplified response that only attempts to address the writing purpose.

Score Level 2 Anchor Paper

Using a mixture of specific information (Taekwando instructor; known her for almost four years) and general details (after I did this everyone had an understanding of everyone elses feelings), this student describes Amanda's ability to give good advice. More development of the ideas would strengthen and clarify this oversimplified response. For example, to what other people/situations has she offered her advice? How did the advice fix the writer's concerns about hurting the parents' feelings?

Score Level 3 Anchor Paper

This student uses a formulaic organizational structure, including an opening preview, a paragraph on each of the types of devotion, and a conclusion that summarizes the response. All of the ideas are supported with a mixture of specific details (go to the movies, go bowling; works hard at work everyday because he comes home exhausted; coaches my sister's basketball team) and general statements (does stuff around the house; he doesn't like work very much). Even though the development of the three body paragraphs is uneven, the essay adequately addresses the writing purpose.

Score Level 3 Anchor Paper

This organized essay contains adequate support and elaboration about the mother's cleaning skills. Particularly effective are the second and third paragraphs which give very specific details (takes care of a cat, a dog, a son, a daughter; vacumes about twice a day; dusts or clean windows). By providing a well-rounded, and somewhat humorous, portrait of the mother (nothing stands in her way; always up and doing something; relieves the stress she builds up), the audience's understanding and interest are addressed.

Score Level 3 Anchor Paper

Using a chronological organizational structure and clear word choice (essential; prominent positions), this student describes the mother's work ethic from her college years through her current job. While each life phase is developed with some support (working as an RA; she and I are only a year apart so she had her hands full; creative director in a graphic design company), more specific and extended development, particularly in the fourth paragraph, and/or purposeful word choice would strengthen the response.

Score Level 4 Anchor Paper

In this organized, well-developed essay, the student pauses to elaborate on each of the ways the mother is organized. Relevant and complete details are provided throughout the response (every week my mom posts the week-long schedules of everyone in the house; holds regular teaching sessions for residents and medical students after hours) as the student fluidly moves from one idea to the next. The word choice (single-handed; hectic and stressful; color-coded binders), though not vivid, is purposeful and helps to demonstrate attention to the audience's understanding and interest.

Score Level 4 Anchor Paper

Through purposeful word choice (an even-minded approach; wisps; fervently; nostalgia) and seamless organizational structure, this student paints an indelible portrait of a father. Because the specificity of the language conveys so much information in each sentence, this response, though brief in appearance, is a well-developed essay that fulfills the writing purpose. The audience's interest is stimulated from the first paragraph, the physical description, to the last paragraph, the father's effect on the writer.