Item 20 Anchor Papers    

Read the prompt below. Follow the directions in the prompt for writing your essay.

Consider the following statement by humorist and educator Stephen Leacock:

"I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."

Write a well-organized essay in which you agree or disagree with Leacock's ideas about the connection between luck and hard work. Support your position with specific examples from your experiences and observations. Be sure that your essay is fully developed, that it is logically organized, and that your choice of words clearly expresses your ideas.

Score Level 1 Anchor Paper

 

In this brief response, the student provides minimal support for the idea that hard work brings good luck. Much of the information is repetitious (if you work hard; your a hard worker) and only inferentially connected to the topic, misrepresenting oneself as a hard worker and being on time for work. This detracts from both the support and organization.

image of student response

Score Level 1 Anchor Paper

 

Although some purposeful word choice is given (a humorous stab; a 'faux-naïve' manner), this response is mostly an answer to a question. It is too brief to demonstrate an organizational structure and contains only minimal support and elaboration.

image of student response

Score Level 2 Anchor Paper

 

This oversimplified response contains enough specific detail (a six-page essay due the next day; storming and raining; my last paragraph) to receive a score of "2." The chronological ordering of events is an attempt at an organizational structure.

image of student response

Score Level 2 Anchor Paper

 

Because this student relies heavily on repetitious structural material (one reason is…; that is one reason why…) in lieu of support and elaboration, this organized response primarily consists of extended, undeveloped ideas (homeless people; realtor; lottery).

image of student response
image of student response

Score Level 2 Anchor Paper

 

This response's chronological progression indicates an attempt to use an organizational structure. While some specific details are provided (lecturing me; a phone call two days later; my family on my father's side), the two given examples are very similar, and both are oversimplified, with incomplete support and elaboration. More development of these events would strengthen and clarify this response. For example, why was the writer's mother concerned about maintaining contact? Why did the writer choose not to respond, especially in light of the first incident? Did the writer go the hospital to visit her grandmother? Who was the second person who died?

image of student response

Score Level 3 Anchor Paper

 

This writer uses a formulaic organizational structure, including an opening that provides a preview of the three ideas to be presented; a paragraph on each idea, grades, sports, health and fitness; and a closing that sums up the response. The ideas are adequately supported with a mixture of general language and specific detail (go over my notes from class; practice 4 times a week; products without cholesterol). The result is a complete essay that addresses the writing purpose.

image of student response
image of student response

Score Level 3 Anchor Paper

 

In this organized and complete essay, the student addresses the writing purpose by recounting a time when hard work was rewarded with good luck. Clear, precise word choice (consistent; vaguely; interchangeable) and specific detail (fifteen pounds of fat; a perfect size four), particularly in the paragraph about the prom dress, combine to provide adequate support and elaboration. The conversational tone, with pauses to provide clarifying information, demonstrates an awareness of the audience's understanding and interest.

image of student response

Score Level 3 Anchor Paper

 

This response uses a mixture of general language and specific information to provide adequate support and elaboration for the idea that luck is related to hard work. Because of the vivid descriptions of the middle class factory worker and the homeless drunkard (sleeping on the street; a cup for spare change), the second page is stronger than the first. More development would strengthen the response. In addition, although organized, smoother transitions would create a more effective organizational structure.

image of student response
image of student response

Score Level 4 Anchor Paper

 

In this well-developed essay, the writer uses relevant details, purposeful language, and effective word choice (precursors; forewarning; ulterior motive) to provide complete support and elaboration for the premise that luck and hard work are unrelated. An effective organizational structure is created by the fluid progression from one idea to the next, and the student's tight focus in contrasting luck and hard work provides thematic unity. The use of the "find a penny" quotation and the conversational tone are designed to stimulate the reader's interest and demonstrate attention to the audience's understanding.

image of student response

Score Level 4 Anchor Paper

 

This writer offers two personal examples of when hard work was rewarded by good luck. Each example is comprised of a paragraph - one on grades, the other related to sports - that begins with a general assertion and progresses to a specific example. This strategy, in combination with the use of transitional words and phrases, helps to create an effective organizational structure. Purposeful word choice (witnessed; diligent; slumped), specific, relevant details (after receiving B's for the first two quarters; three losses and a trip to the regional final) and pauses for needed elaboration result in a well-developed essay with complete support and elaboration.

image of student response
image of student response
 

Anchor Papers ~ English ~ Item 20

Read the prompt below. Follow the directions in the prompt for writing your essay.

Consider the following statement by humorist and educator Stephen Leacock:

"I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."

Write a well-organized essay in which you agree or disagree with Leacock's ideas about the connection between luck and hard work. Support your position with specific examples from your experiences and observations. Be sure that your essay is fully developed, that it is logically organized, and that your choice of words clearly expresses your ideas.

 

Score Level 1 Anchor Paper

 

In this brief response, the student provides minimal support for the idea that hard work brings good luck. Much of the information is repetitious (if you work hard; your a hard worker) and only inferentially connected to the topic, misrepresenting oneself as a hard worker and being on time for work. This detracts from both the support and organization.

image of student response

 

Score Level 1 Anchor Paper

 

Although some purposeful word choice is given (a humorous stab; a 'faux-naïve' manner), this response is mostly an answer to a question. It is too brief to demonstrate an organizational structure and contains only minimal support and elaboration.

image of student response

 

Score Level 2 Anchor Paper

 

This oversimplified response contains enough specific detail (a six-page essay due the next day; storming and raining; my last paragraph) to receive a score of "2." The chronological ordering of events is an attempt at an organizational structure.

image of student response

 

Score Level 2 Anchor Paper

 

Because this student relies heavily on repetitious structural material (one reason is…; that is one reason why…) in lieu of support and elaboration, this organized response primarily consists of extended, undeveloped ideas (homeless people; realtor; lottery).

image of student response
image of student response

 

Score Level 2 Anchor Paper

 

This response's chronological progression indicates an attempt to use an organizational structure. While some specific details are provided (lecturing me; a phone call two days later; my family on my father's side), the two given examples are very similar, and both are oversimplified, with incomplete support and elaboration. More development of these events would strengthen and clarify this response. For example, why was the writer's mother concerned about maintaining contact? Why did the writer choose not to respond, especially in light of the first incident? Did the writer go the hospital to visit her grandmother? Who was the second person who died?

image of student response

 

Score Level 3 Anchor Paper

 

This writer uses a formulaic organizational structure, including an opening that provides a preview of the three ideas to be presented; a paragraph on each idea, grades, sports, health and fitness; and a closing that sums up the response. The ideas are adequately supported with a mixture of general language and specific detail (go over my notes from class; practice 4 times a week; products without cholesterol). The result is a complete essay that addresses the writing purpose.

image of student response
image of student response

 

Score Level 3 Anchor Paper

 

In this organized and complete essay, the student addresses the writing purpose by recounting a time when hard work was rewarded with good luck. Clear, precise word choice (consistent; vaguely; interchangeable) and specific detail (fifteen pounds of fat; a perfect size four), particularly in the paragraph about the prom dress, combine to provide adequate support and elaboration. The conversational tone, with pauses to provide clarifying information, demonstrates an awareness of the audience's understanding and interest.

image of student response

 

Score Level 3 Anchor Paper

 

This response uses a mixture of general language and specific information to provide adequate support and elaboration for the idea that luck is related to hard work. Because of the vivid descriptions of the middle class factory worker and the homeless drunkard (sleeping on the street; a cup for spare change), the second page is stronger than the first. More development would strengthen the response. In addition, although organized, smoother transitions would create a more effective organizational structure.

image of student response
image of student response

 

Score Level 4 Anchor Paper

 

In this well-developed essay, the writer uses relevant details, purposeful language, and effective word choice (precursors; forewarning; ulterior motive) to provide complete support and elaboration for the premise that luck and hard work are unrelated. An effective organizational structure is created by the fluid progression from one idea to the next, and the student's tight focus in contrasting luck and hard work provides thematic unity. The use of the "find a penny" quotation and the conversational tone are designed to stimulate the reader's interest and demonstrate attention to the audience's understanding.

image of student response

 

Score Level 4 Anchor Paper

 

This writer offers two personal examples of when hard work was rewarded by good luck. Each example is comprised of a paragraph - one on grades, the other related to sports - that begins with a general assertion and progresses to a specific example. This strategy, in combination with the use of transitional words and phrases, helps to create an effective organizational structure. Purposeful word choice (witnessed; diligent; slumped), specific, relevant details (after receiving B's for the first two quarters; three losses and a trip to the regional final) and pauses for needed elaboration result in a well-developed essay with complete support and elaboration.

image of student response
image of student response